Woman I don't have time for all that. As you can see I've better things to do. My father said ignoring my mother and left.” “Things didn't stop from there. But that seems to be just the beginning. From then my father began to treat my mother harshly.” “My father changed over night.” “One day my mother had just returned back from the farm and she was too exusted. And she needed rest. But Immediately she drops the firewood she was carrying. My father order my mother to get him water to drink.” “Quick get me water to drink.” my father said immediately. He was sitted outside with the second wife jeesting. The second wife She'd refuse to go to farm that day and was home all day. “My mother being very tired has to rush down to the village stream. She couldn't get him the water on time as she has to go to the stream to get him fresh water. The one in the house has finish yet his second wife couldn't fetched the water despite being home all day.” Pause: Remember to add me Dampo Zughumnan Yohana to get quick notification whenever I posted. “Woman I've told you whenever I tell you to get me something, do it quickly like you have blood running through your vein. My father said. He'd forgot that my mother just returned from the farm and she was very tired.” “I'm sorry my husband. My mother said and handed the water to my father.” “My father took the water and sip a mouthful. After testing it he spit it out.” “Fia. My father spit the water immediately on the floor like it had some dead animal inside.” “Woman where do you get this water from. Do you want to poison me?” “My husband what do you mean. That's the water you normally drink all...... “Before my mother could finish saying what she was about to say. My father poured the whole water on my mother.” “Take this away from here.” My father said and threw the cup at my mother. “I can see you want to poison.” My father said. My stepmother laugh and mock my mother. “My husband lets go inside don't mind her. She wants to kill you for me. But she won't succeed.” My stepmother said and led my dad inside holding my father by the waist. Before she locked the door she turn and do Ntooh for my mother. “That day my father refused to give us food. My mother and I slept on empty stomach. There was no food us. My mother began to pass through different humiliation. Both in the hands of my father. And her kishiya(Co-wife).” “It became worse when my father stop providing for us. My father stop providing food for me and my mother.” “It became worse when my father stop providing for us. My father stop providing food myself and my mother.”...... “Woman go to your father's house let him give you food. I don't have food to give to another man daughter.” I had my father said to my mother when she had gone to complain to him about our lack of food. “My mother plead with my father. She beg for any wrong doing she might have done to my father. But my father was adamant.” “It was the intervention of my mother's family that my father began to consider us. But Instead of providing for my mother. My father decided to give My mother her own portion of her land.” “And he stopped at that. He didn't provide any fertilizer for my mother to start with. Even with that. She'll be the one to farm it by herself and provide fertilizer and any other things.” “But for my step mother my father provides everything for her.” “I had watched daily how my mother suffered in the hand of my father. Different humiliation.” “There was a day my father comes back from God's no where and start picking querrel with my mother and accusing her wrongly. He accused my mother of stealing the money he'd kept in his room. My mother was innocent.” “Since my father started maltreating my mother she had changed her room and my father didn't gave her access to his room anymore. She only goes there to serve him food and pack the plates as well. That day he'd lock the door and went out. It was my step mother that had the second key. Immediately he comes back trouble started.” “Woman I said where is the money I kept in this room before I left the house.” My father ask my mother. “Which money is that my husband.” My mother reply. “The money I kept in this room.” “I don't know. You didn't tell me you keep any money there. How would would I know where it's.” “But I kept money in the house before I left. Are you now you're telling me you don't where it's.” “Baba Edubem you should be asking Saratu this very question cos I haven't stepped my feet into the room when you left. Besides I do not have any extra key to the room except Saratu. So she should be in the best position to answer that question.” My mother said respectfully. “Saratu was my step mother. And I think what my mother was saying is right. And that's what my father suppose to do. He should ask my step mother. I was saying that in my mind.” “I stood beside my mother and I was wondering why my father would be asking my mother what she knows nothing about.” “Woman so you're telling me now that I don't know what am talking about.” My father said picking offense at what my mother said. “I didn't say that my husband. All I'm saying is that you should ask her maybe she may know where the money is.” “Before my mother could even finish saying all that my had landed a slap on her face. My father started kicking my mother and beating her mercilessly.” “People quickly gathered but my father was adamant. He dashed inside and brought out his cutlass and threatened to cut off my mother head if she doesn't provide the money that night.” “It was the people who gathered that prevent my father that day if not only God knows what would have happened.” “That day my mother and I slept outside in the cold. My father locked up the compound gate and refused to let us in.” “Things kept going from bad to worse. With time my father stop paying my school fees. My father all of a sudden says I'm a barstard child.” “I was sent out of school. All of my half brothers were still going to school. I can't keep staying at home so I went and complain to my father.” “Baba it's been long now since I was sent home for my school fees. Every one is going to school except me.” I said to my father who was busy selecting seed for cultivation. the new farming season had just begun. “My father ignored me. My father kept doing what he was doing and did not respond to what I was saying. He did as if no one is even talking. I stood there and I kept singing my school fees to my father till he eventually speak up.” “Edubem. Edubem! How many times did I call you. My father said to me.” “2 times Baba.” I answer. “I have been telling you to leave since but you keeps disturbing me. Have I not told you to go and meet your father. Go and meet the one that gave birth to you.” My said. “But Baba you gave birth to me. Every one knows you gave birth to me. Stop denying it Baba.” “What do you just say Edubem.” “You heard me Baba.” “Are you talking back at me. You talking back at me Edubem. You're taking back at your father.” My father said. “Before I knew it my father landed a slap on face and started beating me mercilessly. Not minding that I'm a child. I took to my hill but my father pursue me round the compound. When my mother came out for my defense. My father beat my mother as well.” Pause: Remember to add me up Dampo Zughumnan Yohana to get quick notification whenever I posted. “Every day things move from bad to worse.” “For long my mother couldn't conceived again. And this became another point of querrelling and fighting as well.” “My father began to accused my mother of living a reckless life for the inability of her to conceived again. That she had lived a wayward life before he married her.” “You married me a Virgin baba edubem. Don't forget that. You took my virginity.” My mother said. “You were the same person that went back to thank my parents and provide them with extra tubers of yarm for bringing me up well and how you met me vigin.” My mother had said to my father. “But it's like my father was not even listening to what she was saying. He was just calling her names.” “You barren woman. How many times have I told you to leave my house. How many times have I told you to leave and go and meet those your useless suitors.” My father said to my mother. “My father had been accusing my mother of infidelity as well. He'd often threw her things outside and chase her from the house. But my mother often comes back despite the maltreatment. My mother was staying because of me. I can felt what my mother was passing through but I could not do anything. I was just a child.” “Seeing how my father maltreated my mother make me to hate him with passion. My father doesn't just hated my mother he also hated me as well.” “My father transferred all the love and attention to the my step mother and her children. All of her children had the greatest part of the farmland and the most fertile as well.” “my mother was the one responsible for my feeding and providing for my school fees. My mother try and try Till she couldn't afford it anymore and I was drop out of School.” “My mother try and try Till she couldn't afford it anymore and I was drop out of School.”...... “I grew up in my father's house like an outcast. But I endure till I became a man and get married.” “My father didn't support me in any way coz to him I wasn't his son. so I shoulder the responsibility of my wife marriage list. With the help of my mother. With time I struggle to build my mud house and we left the house.” “This was what my dad told me about my grandfather when he was lying sick in the hospital bed. I was moved to tears. I never knew my grandfather was that wicked.” “But what surprises me was the fact my father never transferred any of these to his kids. You wouldn't even know my father was from an abusive home. I grew up seeing my dad loving us his children.” “He never showed favoritism. I know while growing up we never had much. But my father provide us accordingly to his ability.” “My father loves my mother as well. He treats my mother with respect and love. There were times they querrell and exchanged words. But immediately they are done. That is the end of it.” “The anger never go beyond that moment. And before you knew it they are back talking and laughing together.” “I've never seen my father and my mother querrell and the kept malice till the following day.” “My father provides for my mother everything she needed. Sometimes if my father took the farm products to the market for sell there is a portion he kept specifically for my Mother alone.” “Because of how my father loves my mom and how my father respect and care for my mom. My mother was sometime envy among her friends.” “Some people taught its not ordinary. But my father said he didn't allow the negative impact of what his father did to him get to him. But he promised to be different.” “My father despite not being educated. took it upon himself to sponsor all of us his children to school.” Pause: Remember to add me up Dampo Zughumnan Yohana to get quick notification whenever I posted. “I might have not gotten the chance to go to school but I know the importance of education.” My father said to me one day. The very day I wanted to quit going to school. “Our school teacher had flogged me the previous day for failing my class assignments. The following day I told my father I prefer farming than going to school. Since in farming no one beat you for not going to farm any day.” “My son if you do not take your study seriously. One day the farmland may become scarce. I had watched some of my friends that had the opportunity of going to school and are doing well today.” “A lot of them were the big people occupied the top government offices today.” My father said. “What my father said was actually true. I had seen some of my father age mates driving big cars. Some times when they were around in the village they must make sure to come around and greet my father.” “My father often tells me those were his mates they grew up together. Must of them were not based in the village. Except for one or two who had retired.” “My father's advice cheer me up and the following day I resume school.” “My father toil day and night to pay for my school fees. Not only my own but for any of his children. Some days my father go hungry to see that we the children eat.” “My father toil day and night to pay for our school fees. Not only me but for any of his children. Some days my father go hungry to see that we the children eat.”........ “My father may have no have the opportunity but he left none of of his children behind.” “Each time I visited the village and park my car in the veranda I always remember what my dad always told me.” “Edubem. this portion of the veranda is for you. I know one day God will bless you. Some day God will remember you. So here is your portion. A space for where you'll park your car.” My father would say. “When I built this house I provided space for each of you. A space where each of you will be parking his own car.” My father had said. Pause: Remember to add me up Dampo Zughumnan Yohana for exciting and thrilling stories “And as God answered his prayers each year we had a family meeting. All of us his sons make sure we park our car according to the space our father provided for us in the veranda.” “My father is no more and long gone. But his teaching are still fresh in my memory. My father had taught me many things. Some of which are; never to show favouritsm to my kids. And to love my wife and family no matter what.” “Sometimes I wish my father would be around to enjoy from his labor. But nevertheless the labor of my father is not in vain.” “My wedding is taking place soon I wish my father would be here to eat the tuwo-amarya as that was his wish before he left to be with the ancestors.” “But wherever my dad is I know he'll be proud of us cos his legacy lives on.” Why do I share this story. A lot of times people find themselves in different situations that is not their making. A lot of times today we had broken homes. Some are due to factors we can't explain. But the issue here is this; how do you handle the situation. Will the situation change you or will you change the situation. May we never be victims of home abuse and may there be peace and unity in our families. THE END @Dampo Zughumnan.
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